Kaiten
by weatheredlaw
Summary: To change destiny. Atemu faces the challenge of accepting Yugi's decision to go to school in America and the consequences that follow. Rated T for now.
1. Letter 1

**A/N:** Hey guys. :) Had this idea on vacation. Here goes. Using Japanese names and settings because of the plot. You'll see. :) Story is very AU.

**Disclaimer: I own nothing but my plots and OC's.**

Dear Atemu,

You won't believe this, but I just woke up after a twelve hour nap! Well, I guess it wouldn't be called a nap then, but still. The flight from Tokyo to Honolulu was long and you know how I can't sleep just anywhere. I was wide-awake the whole time, thinking morbid thoughts about crashing in the ocean. I kept seeing those masks drop from above me, even thought I knew I was being irrational.

I hope that the job jii-chan gave you is going well. The shop is easy to run, but we get busy and he needs the help. I'm glad you wanted to lend a hand. He likes you, and I know you'll do a great job. Just don't let Jounouchi and Honda start one of their lines of credit again! It took them months to pay that off! Jii-chan is still irked about it.

I have a roommate here at the university. His name is Benjamin, but his last name is Tanaka. His parents are from the Nagano prefecture, but he was born here in Oahu. I think that's pretty cool. But I suppose it can be trying, too. He has the pressure of acting American with his buddies and acting Japanese with his parents. He's really nice though and he told me my English is already pretty good. Ben (that's what he likes to be called) promised me he would help me a lot.

I miss everyone. It's sort of lonely here. I want to go to the beach, but I don't think I can look at the ocean right now. The sea is so large, I feel like it might swallow me whole. And the sand is too heavy for me to think about. There are things here I don't understand yet, and I don't want to feel so small right now. I just want to be home…

But I decided to come here and I'm not quitting now! You know me. Once I start, I just have to finish something.

I don't know what the post is like between here and Tokyo, but I promise I'll try to write as often as possible. I don't know how I'll get by without the words you all will write me. Make sure Jounouchi and Honda write, too! Because you know them. They'll forget and then it'll just be one excuse after another. I already miss their constant whining and fighting. Get in a punch for me, will you? Just kidding, of course.

Miss you already.

Your friend,  
Yugi


	2. In My Pocket

**A/N:** It's late and I'm posting a quick addition here tonight.

**Disclaimer: I own nothing but my plots and OC's.**

**Chapter 1: In My Pocket**

Atemu dressed for work carefully. He pulled on a pair of dark blue jeans and a clean grey button down shirt. He pulled a simple jacket over it and went into the kitchen. Heating up a bowl of rice, he quickly whisked some eggs together in a pan and poured them over the rice in the bowl. Then he at it all, quickly, with a pair of chopsticks and grabbed his shoulder bag from a chair in the living room. He fed his cat, Toro, and locked the door, rushing outside to catch the 7:30 bus before it rolled away.

This was how he began every day, precisely.

Before, he had taken the bus downtown and gone to a small hotel in Tokyo and parked cars for the valet service. Now, he rode the bus to Suguroku Mutou's shop in the Domino prefecture. He did this because Yugi had asked him to.

Not that Atemu felt that he had to base his decisions around the will of a person he knew he could probably never have, nor would ever feel the same way. These were things about his life he had, begrudgingly, come to accept. Yugi had decided to go away to school. Far away, in America. Atemu knew this was the right choice. Yugi was bright and tenacious. America would swallow whole anyone else and spit them back, but she would have a hard time chewing on Yugi. Over the years, Atemu had watched Yugi grow stronger and braver. Going away to school was a logical next step.

He accepted this, though not without great apprehension.

It was a Tuesday. He got off the bus and went into the Game Shop. The small bell over the door signaled his arrival. Suguroku called from the back and came out with a large box of dice that needed to be stocked. "Atemu! You're here a little early this morning." Atemu nodded and put his shoulder bag into the back room, then prepared some tea for himself and Yugi's grandfather. The old man held up a torn-open envelope. "Did you get a letter from Yugi?"

"I did, actually. I read it this morning." He neglected to tell him that he'd read the letter fifty times, had it tucked in his back pocket, and had obsessively read it ten more times on the bus ride there. All this, he felt, was unnecessary information. "It sounds like he's going to do just fine." Suguroku made an approving noise in the back of his throat and gave a hearty laugh as Atemu handed him a cup of tea.

"Well, Yugi will do what Yugi does best: outshine them all. What do you think?" It was not a question, Atemu noted, as Suguroku made his way out of the back room and back into the front of the store whistling and singing to himself, basking in the glow that was his pride in his grandson. Atemu sipped on his own cup and eventually made his way to the front of the store and began to sweep the walk outside, noting that it was getting cooler with each passing day. His jacket felt appropriate. His mood did not.

There was something that had left him when Yugi did. A sort of light that he knew Yugi possessed the moment he met him. Something bright and warm and welcoming. Something that made everyone around Yugi shine with the same light. Atemu never felt dull around Yugi. He never felt dark or cold or lost. He was always _with_ someone. With that light and that smile. It was, of course, hundreds of miles away now, warming the room he shared with some Japanese-yet-not-Japanese boy named Benjamin and the countless others Yugi would meet. His letter had expressed his loneliness, but it was to be expected. Yugi had never been so far away before. He'd told Atemu this the night before he left, his fear flowing out into the night air they shared as he thought about his impending flight to Honolulu, his ignorance of American culture, his inexperience when it came to living alone.

_I just don't know what I'll do with out you._

Atemu felt the same way, just as a September wind blew over the walk, undoing the sweeping he'd just done. Reluctantly, he began again.

Around lunch time, Atemu checked his wallet for cash and announced he was going to get some curry from the diner up the street. "Do you want something?"

"Ah, I always want eel. But, of course, you know me. I'll have whatever it is you're having, Atemu. Surprise me!" Suguroku's heavy laugh filled the shop and brought a smile to Atemu's face. The customers shifted around the store, messing with displays and putting things back where they didn't belong. Atemu noted he'd had to re-do his entire dice setup when he returned, but left anyway, his stomach getting the better of him. The wind had gotten stronger, and he wished he had a scarf. Something to warm him. Yugi's light.

It wasn't that Atemu needed Yugi to be there all the time. At least, that was what he told himself. When he entered the shop and did not find Yugi reading some celebrity-trash magazine behind the counter, or did not find him attempting to blow the biggest bubble with his gum, or did not see him flirting with the female customers and playing dice games with the smaller children who wandered in, Atemu felt a sort of hollowness inside. Something that he was fully aware could be filled by no one else. He tried other things. There was a girl he was seeing, unofficially. But she was nothing like Yugi, and she did not fill the gap or create that warmth he needed. She was sweet and he liked her well enough, but she was not..._enough._

Atemu reached the little curry diner and stepped in out of the increasingly strong winds. He spied a familiar pair of heads and greeted Jounouchi and Honda warmly. "Atemu!" Rough-housing was exchanged and Atemu punched Jounouchi in the ribs.

"For Yugi," he said jokingly. Everyone smiled.

"Did you get his letter?" Honda asked. Atemu nodded, again deciding not to tell anyone that it was beginning to wear a hole in his back pocket. "Yeah, me too. That guy. I'm telling you. He has to write like, what, four letters? To all of us? I don't have the patience. I don't even know what to write just to _Yugi_, let alone to three more people." Honda shook his head, running a hand through his hair and rifling through his wallet. "Hey, uh, Jounouchi, you wouldn't happen to have-"

"Don't even think about it. You owe me two meals, you got that Hiroto?" Jounouchi said, pushing an accusing finger in Honda's face.

"I'll get your lunch, Honda," Atemu said stepping up to the counter and ordering three curries to-go before anyone could argue against him.

"Thanks," Honda muttered, blushing. Money was a sore subject, as he usually had very little of it. In the past six months, he'd had seven jobs, and been fired from all of them. Tokyo was quickly running out of places for Honda Hiroto to work. Jounouchi ordered his own and they all began walking back toward the Game Shop. "Think Yugi's grampa will mind if we eat with you guys?"

"As long as you buy whatever it is you're thinking about _not_ buying," Atemu pointed out, jabbing him with a pair of chopsticks. Jounouchi and Honda grinned sheepishly.

These were his friends. The four of them would go everywhere together, but with Yugi gone, the trio seemed...lacking. Sometimes Jounouchi's sister joined them, sometimes their old friend Miho. But otherwise, it was a guy thing. Always together. Always doing something they shouldn't be. Atemu wanted this to feel like it should. The three of them could be enough. It could be just fine without Yugi, but he knew otherwise. He knew that there was a spot somewhere between them, they were trying to fill, wordlessly. And failing miserably at it.

Inside the store, Suguroku clicked his tongue and warned Jounouchi and Honda that if they didn't act like paying customers, he'd kick them out. "Just because you're Yugi's friends doesn't mean my store is yours. Be careful," he warned, then gave a great laugh and pulled two more chairs from a closet for them. They all ate loudly, and Atemu forgot, for a moment, that he was supposed to be unhappy. He had to miss Yugi. He wanted, _badly_, to miss him and need him to be there, even if Yugi did not feel as strongly as he did. The heartache began to fade and, for a moment, he missed it completely. He checked himself and his heart and felt, clearly, that he was beginning to feel alright. For now.

Among his friends and good, warm food, Atemu breathed and felt alive.


	3. Letter 2

**A/N:** I can just see Yugi going away to school and carefully penning a letter to each of his friends, can't you. Please review! I'd love to know what you think. It's my first story in a while, yeah? Yeah.

**Disclaimer: I own nothing but my plots and OC's.**

Dear Jounouchi,

Please tell me you haven't been bugging my grampa and trying to con your way out of paying for something. Again. I expect these things from small children, not you. But then again, you've always set the bar fairly low when it comes to maturity. I miss you to pieces, I'm serious. Give Shizuka a hug for me.

Anyway, I don't want to waste a perfectly good letter on all that sappy stuff. I know you can't stand it. Ben, my roommate, says my English is improving a lot. As is my surfing. He and his older brother are teaching me to surf. Can you believe it? Me, a clumsy city-boy trying to surf. But it's not as hard as it looks, really, once you get the hang of it. Balance is key. Knowing the waves. It's all like a philosophy. You have to understand the ocean, and know that she can be unforgiving and harsh. But when you love her, and I mean really love her, she gives back. You have to respect her and know that she will, in the end, give you the perfect wave sometimes. It's beautiful in a way that I've never experienced. I know to you, this is all silly. You're too practical for this kind of stuff. Which is why I wanted to tell you something I think you'll find much more interesting.

I've met a girl.

Of course, I meet girls every day. But I've _met_ a girl. It's hard fitting in with people here. Even Ben has friends that I have a hard time being with. We're so different. He's a great roommate and he and his brother have been very kind to me, but for the first time in a long time, I'm friendless. And I remember how it felt and it hurts, just like it used to. The fact that I can't just bike to your house or go bother Honda at one of his jobs (though I doubt the coffee gig lasted too long) or just see Atemu at the game shop breaks my heart. Again, I know to you this is all top mushy, but you're my friend and I know that you, above all others, will understand this. But with this girl, I'm not alone anymore. It's like we were always friends. Like we used to be friends or something and...now we've come back to one another.

Her name is Anzu. It's beautiful, isn't it? I'm sorry, but it is. And she is, too. And smart and funny and not afraid of this big world we've been thrown into. She's from Tokyo, right in the middle of the city! Her parents own a restaurant there, and I'm sure we've seen it or something. To think - this girl was right there, all along, and we meet in Hawaii, of all places. I mean, the world really is smaller than we think, you know? There's something about her that is so...refreshing. She makes me laugh like no one else. Is it possible to be in love after a few days? I don't think so. But still, it's worth considering. She's _spectacular._ A perfect word for her. But I need you to do something very important. And pay attention to this, _please!_

Don't tell anyone about her.

Swear to me you won't. Swear the minute you read this. Drop the letter. Cross your heart. I mean it Jounouchi. No one can know. It'll cause an uproar that I don't need to deal with from so far away. I just can't...not now. When I come home, if she's still there and there's still something between us...then I'll tell everyone. But for now, let's just keep it between you and me.

I'm telling you about her because you've always understood me in a way no one else can. Honda, Atemu, jii-chan - they all care and love me and know me, but not like you do. You were the one who protected me from that bully. You were the one to step down to my level and promise me a friend. You were the one who let go of all your macho-attitudes about caring and compassion and gave me the one gift _I cannot see._ Friendship. And that is why I think you will understand about Anzu and keeping her a secret more than anyone else. Because you understood me first.

The letter got too mushy. I'm sorry. Can't wait to hear from you!

Your friend,  
Yugi


	4. All These Questions

**A/N:** These chapters are slow, I'm sorry. I'm setting up characters and what I want to do with them. And I promise the title will be explained eventually. "Kaiten" really does mean "to change destiny" (or some variation of that; there are several translations), so think of that as you read. R and R please!

**Disclaimer: I own nothing but my plots and OC's.**

**Chapter 2: All These Questions**

_I remember when we all became friends. I need these happy thoughts because there's a lot changing around me and I'm afraid. For the first time in a while, I'm really afraid._

Honda read the letter in front of him, frowning. This was not the Yugi he knew. A month ago, he's written long, looping sentences, glancing over a girl, talking about his roommate, the campus. Now, things were different. The letter was tinted with sadness and the kind of homesickness that Honda knew far surpassed the kind he'd felt at summer camp ten years ago. Shaking his head, he shoved the letter back into his pocket. It was the fourth time he'd read it. Something about Yugi's words bothered him, but he pushed it from his mind. As much as he cared for his friend, today he needed to concentrate. He needed to find a job.

He'd attempted to beg and plead Yugi's grandfather for something, but, of course, that job was filled by Atemu. He tried not to sound too disappointed and saved his grumblings for when he'd hung up the phone. Atemu had become their friend only a year ago. Honda and Jounouch had been Yugi's friends since the sixth grade. All the secrets Atemu and Yugi had, the strange relationship, then the job...it just didn't seem fair. Where was all this for he and Jou? Where were their secrets? No matter. Those weren't important thoughts. Not right now anyway. He owed it to Yugi to be Atemu's friend, no matter what. Atemu was a good guy, despite his shyness. Honda had to give him that.

Walking down the sidewalk, he took in the cold air. It was October already. Yugi had been gone for over a month now. And many things seemed to have changed. Atemu had called things off with a girl he'd been seeing from across town. Jounouchi was beginning classes at the local university. And Honda...well, he was still trying to find something. Something important. Something he didn't think was just _there_. He had to really look for it, really try and understand what it was he needed. He suspected it wasn't something he could see, but rather felt. Of course, he could hardly speak to anyone about these things. It was silly, really, to try and say anything like this to Jounouchi. Jou was his best friend, yes, but when things got too abstract for him he tended to fall back on the same old ridicule he'd picked up from the harsh gangs he'd hung out with as a boy. Men didn't search for some unseen mysterious desire. Men did what they wanted and had what they needed.

And if they didn't have it, they went out and took it.

Honda was never that type of person, so he assumed that he wasn't really a man. Which was fine by him. He was happy being whatever he was. Even if that person felt a bit empty inside. It was better than being in prison, like most of Jou's old friends. He liked this guy he found himself to be.

When an hour spent pestering store owners came up fruitless, Honda retreated to the Kame Game Shop.

"No no! No! You get out!" Suguroku said, coming out from behind his spot at the cash register. "I won't argue with you about - Honda, what's the matter?"

"Ah, nothing really. Just another empty job search." Suguroku nodded and gestured for Honda to follow him to the back room. He turned the "open" sign to "closed" and quickly went into the back and began making tea. Suguroku believed that there was not a single problem in the world that could not be discussed and solved over a cup of tea. And he had yet to face a problem that disproved this theory, so he took great joy in handing a steam cup over to Honda and watching the young man take in its heat and flavor, the color returning to his cheeks and a slow smile spreading across his face. "Now, tell me what is troubling you. I have a feeling it's more than this job search you're so intent on carrying out."

Honda sighed and ran his hands through his hair. "Yugi is so lucky," he said, looking at the ceiling. "He knows exactly what he wants, you know? He's smart." Honda tapped the side of his head and took another sip of tea. "He's always known. He used to say, 'I'm going to go to America for school, so don't get too attached.' And Jou and I, we just laughed and failed our exams and didn't really think about the future. And now it's here and..." At this point, Honda had to pause and look hard at his palms, remembering all the times Atemu had told them that secrets and futures were living in the lines there, or so his mother had told him. "The future used to seem so far off. And suddenly it got here and I'm just...existing. With nothing to support me. My mom wants to kick me out and my dad...he just wants me to go to law school and do something useful with my life."

Suguroku looked thoughful for a minute and then leaned forward. "What is it _you_ want to do?" Honda's eyes widened for a second and then closed tight. He shook his head, clenching his fingers closed and pressing the tip of his nails deep into his palms. He had no idea what he wanted to do. None at all. "Well, that's it then. That's the question you have to answer. _What do you want?_ We all spend our whole lives figuring out simple truths, Honda. Why are we here? What do we want? Who do we love? Are we meant to love at all? And when you find these answers, sometimes it's so late in life, you think you won't ever need them. But you always do. I think that you're a smart boy, too, Honda. And if you want to, you can go to school anywhere you'd like. And you can do whatever it is you want to. You just need to clear all these doubts from your head and get out there."

"But...but what if I never find these answers?" Suguroku laughed and took the old tea cup away.

"I asked my father the same thing when I was your age. And he didn't tell me much at all. I promise you, you're going to be alright." Honda nodded, feeling a great weight off of his shoulders and understanding, now, what he had to do. He thanked the old man for the tea and his time and made his way back onto the streets. He hit them harder, feeling a purpose in each step of his shoes on the pavement.

_For the first time in a while, I'm really afraid,_ Yugi had written. Honda worried for him, but knew that he had to do something. He, too, was afraid. Afraid of the new future that loomed ahead. The future of his childhood had come to haunt his every waking moment. _What will you do? Where will you go?_ Questions his father asked at dinner, angrily expected what he wanted to hear: _law school, father. _But Honda would not go to law school. He would not accept a path for himself laid out by another.

For the rest of the day, Honda looked and looked for a job until, finally, in the most unlikely of places, he found one.

The library.

Laughing to himself as he walked out two hours later with a name tag in his back pocket, he wondered where Jounouchi was. It was nice to have a job where he knew his friend wouldn't bother him.


End file.
